Byl jsem inspirován článkem alternativního celostního systému Aura-Soma až tak, že jsem do Aura-Soma The Academy napsal svůj názor. Tento vyšel v podobě článku ve zpravodaji na březen 2016.
V angličtině si níže můžete přečíst text, který mně inspiroval a následně můj článek o tom, jak nenarušit a respektovat svobodu klienta rozhodnout se bez toho, aby terapeut měl pocit selhání nebo nezdaru.
Non-Instrusive, Self-Selective: A Request from Mike
One of the main principles in the Aura-Soma® system that is so often misunderstood and not even taken into account is the core value of non-intrusion. So what does this mean? It means viewing situations with compassion but not getting drawn in by “trying to do good”. I cannot express strongly enough of how important this is.
There was one story Vicky told more than any other and it was about a blind deaf mute trying to get on or off a train. The person, who seemed alone, had one foot on the train and one foot off the train and stuck in the situation. Should we help this person? The dilemma is do we help them on or off the train but if we make the wrong decision then they do not get to their destination. It seems simple but after pondering this for many years it is far from simple.
Most people called to the Aura-Soma system have the desire, the impulse, to be of help and to be able to assist others but, as in the above scenario, is there not a chance that we might interfere with someone’s true wish, their soul intent? Would this not be a serious intrusion? If we make a move before the situation is clear then it would be so easy to do the wrong thing. This is not intended to create fears but to clarify a fundamental premise within the Aura-Soma system.
The primary objective is to empower the client/friend to be able to fully support themselves, allowing them to honour the selection they have made and to facilitate them in the use of the bottles they are called to. The communication that follows with the client/friend is to empower them to apply the bottles to themselves where they feel drawn to put them. This is crucial. There are so many potential errors through knowledge that belies wisdom and which may go beyond what is truly helpful. Words are like energy so do we do our best to support what is pointing towards the core of the system?
In order to be truly non-intrusive is to allow the power, the impulse decision, to be in the hands of the client/friend.
A tady je moje reakce a článek.
Reflections on the benefits of providing a client the freedom and space of non-intrusive support and how deliberate inaction should not feel like a failing.
I was deeply moved and inspired by the last email from Academy about non – intrusion. “The need to help” connected with the attitude “I know better than you…” is found very often among psychologists and esoteric people. I work as a psychologist – my therapeutic approach is based on Person Centered Approach defined by Carl C. Rogers. It is known to me how difficult it is to stay aware, sensitive and comfortable with the client describing in detail their plan for suicide, refusing nourishment or any food, announcing a manipulative plot against his/her partner, fighting the anger of losing someone close …etc. In those moments one usually gets the impression of superiority and then the tendency to solve the issues or even protect the client and his close ones seem to be the next best things. One feels this is justified and right especially in the intense moments or long term “unsuccessful” therapy process, when no “results” are to be seen.
What is going on in that particular moment? The moment of need to execute good, where there is the urge to help and those good deeds are “intuitively” felt as “right”?
In my experience a quick discussion amongst internal characters such as “The Clever Mind”, “Knowledgeable Excellency”, “Always Helpful Cinderella”, “The Saviour of All” (and maybe some other character s) starts in the head of the therapist in that second. Each character wants to show their contribution “to the world”. The possibility of resolution feels so close… It is tempting to give “the proof” about one’s ability, with expressions of endless help and deep knowledge. But just exactly in this very moment we are disconnecting ourselves as we are busy discussing with our own characters reflections from the client and we stay inside our own head. After we have found and invented “the best possible” answer we talk about problem solutions, incredible clever explanations of behaviour and turn anything into positive and optimistic solutions. We look forward to seeing thankfulness, surprise, admiration, gratitude, humility in the eyes of the client, any of which might justify our effort. Our inner characters are satisfied and again reassured about the truth and abilities and “the necessity of doing this…the offering of our gifts”. I have heard a lot of questions about this process during “esoteric” seminars and most commonly the answer is “well, it is good as the client has chosen that way on some level, so it does not matter nor is not necessary to examine our motivation so deeply, it is as it should be”. This way of thinking taken further, in my opinion, could however bring us to complete irresponsibility. It is like saying that in the end nothing really matters. That might be perfectly right however no matter how strongly I agree with the possibility that the other person may have plans, paths that are unclear and hidden from my sight, I am convinced that our “good deeds” shouldn’t always be part of it. Why we would even think they should? Is it perhaps our characters again talking loudly in our head? we might then ask ourselves why do we “need to present them”?
It is really difficult to be with someone who is making mistakes or taking the wrong path. But do we really know that they are? It could be extremely painful to accept that the aim is not to prove “our point of view” however right and logical, but to accept the fact the person is maybe not ready and has VERY good reasons why not to be so. Maybe we are afraid to be confronted and acknowledge our own fears, pessimism, aggression, limits, naivety, bad moods or cowardice? This is a huge area to be explored thoroughly for those working with people. It is good and liberating to know better our own greedy internal characters.
So what can we do in such critical situations in order that our presence is not “useless”. …. Well perhaps if we begin by believing inside us, that the person, and the life energy inside the human being in front of us, is capable to move forward under any circumstance, according to plan unknown to us. The one thing we can offer is our (almost) 100% awareness and availability to be with the person and share the moment. Then perhaps we can observe thoroughly, if there is something which we might offer or add; a question? Silence? Observation? a comment? a smile? Genuine Interest and will to understand “what it feels like”? This of course is impossible if some of our characters intervene with comments like “I do not like this type of people…I think person like this should do… I cannot accept that she has done that…. he had no right to say that…men are not intuitive…women talk way too much…people dressed fashionably are shallow…I love optimistic people…I am afraid of such a strong sadness, it could destroy me….”. Unconditional acceptance is a hard and difficult skill but honest interest in another person’s feelings and inner world could be extremely healing. The trap here might be in “drowning” in the client’s emotions. True empathy consists of being aware of what is going on with him/her but still being aware of myself. If I start to feel overwhelmed I might accept that as a sign that I might not be a big a use in that particular situation, perhaps it vibrates personally with me too strongly and thus the healing connection is not quite possible.
I admit the topic is far more complicated, with possibly many other points of view. The truth is that not all situations with clients are so intense. However, in my view the initial attitude should be of humbleness, unconditional acceptance, empathy, reflective of the offer of a safe space for discovery rather than show off of all virtues I possess. I am certain that each therapist needs their own therapy i.e. personal discovery journey to understand the subtlety of his/her own feelings, fears, excitement etc. to be able to recognize and distinguish them and not to cover them under “intuition” or “inner voice”. This all might help to feel strong, content and aware of own feelings while observing the blind, deaf and mute person getting on/off train. Maybe the focused observation and trying to get in the “shoes” of the person will bring far better outcome than our forcing him on the train, because ”everybody wants to travel” and “one should help others to get on the train”.
I was able to put down these lines only because I am not afraid to be completely wrong however I am not giving up trying and searching. I offer my thoughts with best wishes to everyone who is trying to make the world a better place in any possible way.